Does It Do It For You?
The gorgeous Miss Debonair
It's often said, and it makes perfect sense, that there are as many shades of sexuality and of gender as there are colours in the rainbow - no surprise therefore that the rainbow is the symbol used to indicate that a venue is gay. But the axes of sexuality and gender are perpendicular. WHAT? What we're trying to say is that your colour in the gender rainbow bears no connection whatsoever to your colour on the sexuality rainbow. One does not imply the other. In mathematical terms, they are mutually exclusive. This is an important thing to recognise. Just because you enjoy dressing as a member of the opposite sex, or you like to fantasise over them, does not necessarily have any impact on your sexuality.
But what exactly defines your sexuality? If you fancy transvestites or cross-dressers, are you anything other than heterosexual, after all does fancying Marilyn Monroe make you a necrophiliac just because she is now dead? What if you actually perform a sexual act with a transsexual, after all, your brain is probably still telling you that she is a girl despite certain visual clues otherwise. What if a transvestite or cross-dresser or a guy performs a sexual act on you? Does it matter if one or both of you is dressed? And when you undress, doesn't the illusion of gender largely vanish anyway? Does any of this matter?The answers to all of these questions lye in the same place - in your brain! You are what you feel you are and that is all that matters..
At the end of the day, much depends on whether your sexuality is something you feel the need to explore and communicate or whether you are happy just to be, always remembering that sexuality is not necessarily connected to the act of having sex (being celebate does not, for example, change your sexuality). It's easy to understand, especially for people whose lifestyle has always shunned or ridiculed gays, that the thought of not being totally at one end of the sexuality rainbow might be frightening. But run with it. Life is too short to battle with your internal conscience, after all, the only person who needs to know what sexuality you feel, is YOU!
